


Leaving Him Hurts

by enchantedlokii



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Bisexual Steve Rogers, Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Gay Bucky Barnes, M/M, POV Bucky Barnes, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Protective Bucky Barnes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-30
Updated: 2020-11-30
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:48:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 325
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27807073
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/enchantedlokii/pseuds/enchantedlokii
Summary: Bucky writes a journal entry prior to leaving for the war.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Kudos: 6
Collections: Stucky





	Leaving Him Hurts

June 19th 1943  
I told myself I wouldn’t let myself cry, but knowing that tonight very well could have been the last time I ever see him hurts. Leaving him alone here hurts. Honestly, it terrifies me. Because who is going to take care of him now? What if he gets sick again? Or gets his *ss handed to him because I’m not there to pull him away?

To top it all off, I was hoping we would have a good time tonight. I thought maybe it would help. Make it not hurt so much. But no, it made it worse. Because he’s still chasing that dream of fighting in the war. The one thing I’ve tried so desperately to avoid is what he wants so bad. Something he’s desperate enough to do that he’s willing to break the law time and time again. 

He doesn’t see things the way I do. He doesn’t see that this isn’t for him. It’s not something he should want, but it is. I’ve tried to convince him to find other ways to help out, but he refuses. He wants to fight. I know that he would trade places with me in a heartbeat if he was given the choice. 

I just hope that whatever happens, he will end up okay. I hope that he will find a way to be happy here. That maybe he won’t miss me as much as I’ll miss him. Which is pretty easy to believe, really. Because face it, Steve Rogers loving someone like me? H*ll, I can only imagine what he would say if I admitted to him that I’m gay. He would disown me, definitely.

But I keep thinking back to that night. He was so drunk, but he was so. . . He was into me. He f*cking kissed me. And I know, I know “drunk words are sober thoughts” or whatever. I don’t believe that. If only, I guess.


End file.
